On trusting liars
Growing up, we learn honesty will be rewarded, and the truth shall set you free...right? I find that not everyone got this message as a child, or maybe just forgot as an adult...(maybe). "Your word" as well as mine doesn't mean a damn thing.
We WANT to trust our friends, our partners and even the strangers we meet, but not many are trustworthy. There are very few people you can turn your back on and KNOW they will do right. In fact, so few, that I believe it isn't worth risking your own well being to trust them in the first place.
I was asked once, why I allowed a person who is known to be an unabashed chronic liar, to be my friend...my answer..."I only trust him as far as I need to..." That is the key. It IS ok to trust, only so far as you are never putting anything important on the line to do so. No one who is trust worthy would ask you to put your well being on the line anyway.
If we do choose to put ourselves out there, through a want or need of our own, that does not mean we must suddenly go blind to the other person or adopt a "no questions asked" attitude. That is deadly, and we should never accept or expect that of others. "No questions asked" would be silly when the point of honesty is having nothing to hide.
Using language, gestures, inuendos or silence to manipulate others is an easy way of coping and acheiving in life for those who aren't adaptable enough to deal with reality. We are human animals, key word here is animal. We are survival oriented and this means much more than just food and shelter now. A human animal will do anything needed to survive within their culture.
To those weak souls who have to rely on lies and misgivings to get what they need, I don't feel pity, or anger. Just ambivolence, because lucky for me, their world doesn't interfere with my reality...and from now on I will be more careful of what I lay on the line when "trusting" others.
We WANT to trust our friends, our partners and even the strangers we meet, but not many are trustworthy. There are very few people you can turn your back on and KNOW they will do right. In fact, so few, that I believe it isn't worth risking your own well being to trust them in the first place.
I was asked once, why I allowed a person who is known to be an unabashed chronic liar, to be my friend...my answer..."I only trust him as far as I need to..." That is the key. It IS ok to trust, only so far as you are never putting anything important on the line to do so. No one who is trust worthy would ask you to put your well being on the line anyway.
If we do choose to put ourselves out there, through a want or need of our own, that does not mean we must suddenly go blind to the other person or adopt a "no questions asked" attitude. That is deadly, and we should never accept or expect that of others. "No questions asked" would be silly when the point of honesty is having nothing to hide.
Using language, gestures, inuendos or silence to manipulate others is an easy way of coping and acheiving in life for those who aren't adaptable enough to deal with reality. We are human animals, key word here is animal. We are survival oriented and this means much more than just food and shelter now. A human animal will do anything needed to survive within their culture.
To those weak souls who have to rely on lies and misgivings to get what they need, I don't feel pity, or anger. Just ambivolence, because lucky for me, their world doesn't interfere with my reality...and from now on I will be more careful of what I lay on the line when "trusting" others.
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