simple truths

I have always felt as if someone forgot to include the manual when I was made. I try to watch and see what everyone else is doing. But, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.  I have finally come to the conclusion: No one knows what the hell they are doing. Can you tell me for sure, why you are here? Why you are doing what you are doing?  Yes, we can come up with some superficial answers- but frankly, we are all going to die and everything you have done will be forgotten. Erased by time.  Meaningless. A chasing after the wind. -Ecclesiastes   But we are here nonetheless and no one wants to look weird, or stupid, as if they don't know what they're doing.  We create roles and rules (that's the manual I mentioned never getting) so we can live with some direction and purpose. We try to nail it and be the best at it. All the while looking around to see what everyone else is doing to make sure we have it right. According to who? Who says they have it right? Becaus...

 Growing up in Oregon, made rain feel like home. Where the sun makes people warm, the rain makes me feel warm inside. Like my soul is wrapped in a blanket, warm and at home. Every little pitter patter on my roof calms me, brings relief. Like cool water on a burn, is what rain does to my soul. The smell of ozone, clears away the mask, its ok to be sad sometimes. Like the rain makes life grow, sadness also creates growth. If you don't try to shield yourself from it. Don't carry an umbrella. Sit with your rain, like a blanket, let it wrap you up and keep you warm. Soon enough, you'll have no need for it, you'll be warmed and free. The sun will be back. It's ok to sit in the rain while you have it.

       "The world is waiting," she told me. "You're a trailblazer. You don't walk the path, or find the path, you bludgeon through the thick and create it. God has obliged you. He keeps creating the thick for you to devour!" Occasionally, I am reminded of my significance and capabilities. It has been nearly one year since my "awakening," when all the pieces came together and my perspective on life got turned on its ass. And if you can imagine your brain getting emptied out and rearranged without you participation- it leaves one a bit disoriented on their path in life. All of the humbling, heartbreaking, shocking experiences over the last two years have left me peaceful. Not numb, or angry...As I swallow one painfully toxic dose of life after another I am gradually removed from the necessity to suffer from loss and failure. Kahlil Gibran said,  "The deeper that  sorrow  carves into your being the more  joy  you can contain...  Your...