simple truths

 What would it take to have me? It would take matching my heart- The one God gave me, to love others  As he has loved me. It would take matching my eyes- The ones God gave me, that see the best In everyone around me. It would take a fire in your soul- Like the one God gave to me, that lights up  So others may see. It would take honesty and humility- The same truth that God sees, that owns up To what you'd rather not be. It would take a passion for service- The way God drives me, to see His will Be done on earth as it is in heaven. It would also take a man with priorities- Who makes God his number one, not me. And treats others as vessels made Holy. If he isn't all this,  just to start. then he's not the one God made for me and he'll be better off to just let me be.

Hold two opposing ideas in your mind Like holding on and moving on. Like, I love you. And, I have to let you go. Like, this hurts. And, it is what is good for me. Like the entire universe of matter That is built upon relationships. Between positive and negative. Matter and anti-matter. Between heartbreak and soul mate. Between you matter,  and focus on what matters. Somewhere between lonely And filled with God's love. Give up everything,  to have everything given unto you. Balance is allowing two opposing forces To remain without contradiction. Like, I want you and need you. And I have to leave you. Balancing the equation Without solving for answers.

 If desire is the cause of all human suffering  than grieving from the loss of something you had desired  but now realize will never be, should be the opposite of suffering.  Shouldn't it? After all, To be set free from desire  is to be set free from suffering.  Or is it that your desire has not changed-  only the reality that there is no longer any hope  of realizing your desire. Do not seek to fulfill that desire in another place  in another time in another go around. Set yourself free from suffering. Why you are reaching for that which you desire?  What do you believe will be healed? or  what pain inside you will be fixed? Realize that nothing outside of you  will end your suffering, bring you happiness  or heal your wounds. You will only pull near to you a new thing  to blame for your pain, your suffering  or to cause you new wounds. You must sit still. Alone. Be silent. Understand YOU are enough.  You a...

I have always felt as if someone forgot to include the manual when I was made. I try to watch and see what everyone else is doing. But, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.  I have finally come to the conclusion: No one knows what the hell they are doing. Can you tell me for sure, why you are here? Why you are doing what you are doing?  Yes, we can come up with some superficial answers- but frankly, we are all going to die and everything you have done will be forgotten. Erased by time.  Meaningless. A chasing after the wind. -Ecclesiastes   But we are here nonetheless and no one wants to look weird, or stupid, as if they don't know what they're doing.  We create roles and rules (that's the manual I mentioned never getting) so we can live with some direction and purpose. We try to nail it and be the best at it. All the while looking around to see what everyone else is doing to make sure we have it right. According to who? Who says they have it right? Becaus...

 Growing up in Oregon, made rain feel like home. Where the sun makes people warm, the rain makes me feel warm inside. Like my soul is wrapped in a blanket, warm and at home. Every little pitter patter on my roof calms me, brings relief. Like cool water on a burn, is what rain does to my soul. The smell of ozone, clears away the mask, its ok to be sad sometimes. Like the rain makes life grow, sadness also creates growth. If you don't try to shield yourself from it. Don't carry an umbrella. Sit with your rain, like a blanket, let it wrap you up and keep you warm. Soon enough, you'll have no need for it, you'll be warmed and free. The sun will be back. It's ok to sit in the rain while you have it.

The Lonliest Oak A tall strong oak left in charge of a plain. Lonely, with no one around. Stuck in pride, but dread. His dreams over his head. Stuck alone, rooted to the ground With no one around. Large and boastful, but with no one to envy him. Neglected by nature, became withered. It's cold outside, and everyone has come in, but you. You're alone and rooted. Yelling with no one to hear. No one to envy him. It's cold outside, and everyone has come in but you. -Taylor C. (11 yr old)

 Apathy is dangerous. The result of words, overstated unrequited.  Indignant indifference and forced involuntary solitude put a lid on and simmer How's that taste bitch? Open wide...say "   " Nothing? Say nothing! No one here gives a fuck how you feel, or why or when or even how you got here.  From words that fall out of my fucking face, flat and dead like lead bricks,  only without a sound, but twice as hard as gravity, they hit the fucking ground. Words should flow like helium. With grace and ease float into ears. Apathy. at least she hears. At least she lets you say your peace.  She just no longer cares. The little voice that says, "Come on, girl," is gone. Ricocheted off into other space Actually, it doesn't fucking matter. Words are heavy and I've got to save my power To crawl out of this fucking hole without a hand. Without a ladder. maybe I mighta cried or called for help,  "going off" I think they call it... Those stupid noises, an indi...

Whatever you output comes back to you, often amplified. Thoughts, feelings and actions are your energetic resonance. Re-sonance. The word itself implies a re-sounding, or a repeat of the vibration. Not every bit of energy we create will be positive. But do yourself, and me a favor. At least be authentic. Because, in its negative form, truth is still truth and all truth is honorable.

Kneeled down on the hard floor in a closed-off, quiet, sunlit-streamed-in place. There I am. Just me now, taking up both halves of this space. Just a while ago, we had bickered and struggled, angered and raged. Deceived and ignored. So many tears have streamed down my face. For this love, I gave up everything. It broke me, but I kept on giving. Even when apart, there was nothing that could replace. He knew and I did too. I could stare a lifetime into your eyes, and he did until we part.  Despite the world's wisdom, and also, in spite of myself- I still loved him. What the world doesn't see is who I have to live with now is me. What he gave went with him. It wasn't mine to keep. Not the pain nor the heart. The love I gave is what is left in my own two hands to hold, since death do us part.

In the desperation of communities struck by poverty, war and crime around the world, occassionally there arises a narrow avenue of hope. A way out.  In Samoa young men dream to become NFL stars. In Compton they dream to become famous rappers. In Dagastan, they dream to win a UFC belt.  It only takes one brave soul to challenge the status quo... to believe they can make it. If only a few succeed in escaping a previously impossible circumstance, then the dam breaks open. The avenue of possibilities begins to light up.  Like when the four minute mile was eventually broken. It was once a feat thought to be impossible for the human body.  Suddenly it became possible. Runner after runner beat the record. So it is in these communities, it only took one person daring enough to try. It only takes one person to believe they can, to bring hope to an entire community or an entire nation.

 Not everyone notices.Most are completely unaware. The beautiful timing, and synchronized dancing of the molecules in the air. The molecules that have no idea who you are. Nor do they care. Even though you're made of them, before you made up who you are.  The notes and silences that make the sounds of the music we hear. The lyrics spoken as if an old dear friend chiming in like they were near. Singing on in perfect time to the rain playing bass on your windshield,  and your windshield wipers swipe swiping along to the rhythm of your breath  and the bumps in the road like a map that knew where each heartbeat would be left. How this moment would not exist unless every single one preceeding it had happened first. If you pay close attention, do not force nor try to control it, The ceaseless echoes sent endlessly out into the universe will tell all in time. You are here and It is now. There is truth about your place in this.  The future is the past, simply the f...

I ended my previous blog, " Why Our Programs Will Never Stop Homelessnes, " on this note, "To fix homelessness, they don't need us. We need to need them." As a follow up to this, here is a story about giving charity wrapped in dignity... THE OLD EGG SELLER AND THE MADAM "How much for the eggs?" Asked a well-dressed Madam. The old seller replied, '$0.25 an egg, Madam.' She said to him, 'I will take 6 eggs for $1.25 or I will leave.' The old seller replied, 'Come take them at the price you want. Maybe, this is a good beginning because I have not been able to sell even a single egg today.' She took the eggs and walked away feeling she had won. She got into her fancy car and went to a posh restaurant with her friend. There, she and her friend, ordered whatever they liked.  They ate a little and left a lot of what they ordered. Then she went to pay the bill. The bill was $45.00, she gave $50.00 and asked the owner of the restaurant t...

 What if we are totally wrong about WHY there are so many people "experiencing" homelessness? We continue to pour money into a service-based model for dealing with homelessness. Hand out food, because they lack food. Hand out clothes, because they lack money to buy clothes. Hand out tents because they lack the ability to find shelter. Rehousing programs abound and millions of dollars flood in to get "these people" off the streets. However, the number of chronically homeless people keeps rising. [Chronically homeless as defined here is distinctly separate from those facing temporary lack of housing due to job loss, sudden eviction, etc.] Despite our greatest efforts, the problem gets worse. But, what if we are trying to fix the wrong problem? People do not remain chronically homeless because of an inability to find housing or work. If highly motivated, a person could take advantage of the many programs and pull themselves up from the trenches and back on their feet. ...

 Wherever you are in your life right now, whatever is overwhelming, unbearable, indomitable or hopeless...breathe in with me....this too shall pass. These moments soften in passed time and will form a beautiful patina with age that you will remember fondly. Please also take note that whatever is peaceful, loving, safe and brings you joy, this too shall also pass. When my children were young, I cried tears, hot for wanting purpose! To be recognized by someone or something. To be heard and to make a difference. This has passed.... Now that my kids are almost all grown, I have found some path, some purpose and I can make a difference...but I would give anything to have those busy mommy days back. To care for and be needed by someone again. This too shall pass.... The day may come where I will be needed by someone, and have to care for someone again. It will not be easy. However, knowing this too shall pass, and I have grown wiser.  Learn to enjoy your moments. Even the painful an...

 My daughter, my dear, we need to talk Your grades are appaling,  your school has been calling you have some serious work to do here. I realize the world is on fire I am no climate change denier and though CNN has warned of an  imminent economic collapse But dont let that stop you from doing your best. You're not like the rest. You can be anything you want to be Sort of like that new AI machinery Have heard of how it can do everything you're learning to do except faster and better and always correct? They say we can't keep it in check. But my darling, don't fear. You'll go far Dream big. Become someone in the world Where soon there will be no one, or at least no one youll be able to see When the lights go out and the grid collapses under the weight of our spaceage cars and devices and those mega monoliths of data storing , knowledge hoarding devices Yes, the ones who hold the very things you're supposed to be hard studying So you can go out in the world and .......

 Thank you Lord,  For all the blessings in disguise, For blessings yet unrecognized. The ones that feel like grief, Later, like grateful relief. In this moment  Sorrow may consume my airs, Tomorrow, only you may know From this place I am now Where it is I will go. -LeAnne Love 2022  

Shame is a Glitch That sinking pit in your stomach and the hot flush through your face. We call this shame.  A special kind of embarrassment that follows rejection. Shame is when you feel that you are bad, or not good enough; lesser than; unworthy. "Saving face" is how we handle shame. With a tug at your collar, you straighten your back and clear your throat. Hoping no one noticed the seismic waves of shame that just toppled your tower. "I am good enough," your body language tries to declare. But your hot flushed cheeks, the sudden loss of air, all make you acutely aware, of how, possibly you aren't as awesome as you wanted to be. Job interview after job interview; cold call after cold call, date after date; request after request for a raise or a promotion. Denied, hung up on, rejected. Ouch! The inner doubts that rejection can spur! Especially prolonged, continuous rejection. It can take a toll on our self-esteem and our motivation to continue trying. ...

Kids Today; Infotoxicated Do you remember the smell of old books in the library? And the sound of the little wooden drawers being slid open and clunked shut, as you scoured through the Dewey decimal system? As the sacred silence was upheld, there was this magnanimous feeling of standing before the world's secret knowledge contained inside the pages. Waiting to be decoded, translated, filtered and finally rebottled as your own discovery of truth. Learning along with process of creating reports and presentations to share our new found knowledge of the world, I would liken it to how wine is made. Every grape hand picked and sorted and separated from the weeds and the leaves the same as one sorts through hundreds of books to find the best sources.  It is mashed and the excess removed, in much the way our brains would disseminate the important from the irrelevant, depending on our topic's focus. Finally, after having time to think about, or age, it is bottled and distributed to shar...

 ...and suddenly all my air is gone, gasping and grasping for nothing it's not there anymore, I told it to move on. Reeling and off balance, I feel I may fall into the dark black precipice of (unknown) panic welling up,  I have no one left to call. I miss the comfort and the safety I want to yell out into this emptiness "Why did you have to cage me?" Distantly blue water drip drip drips and a clock softly tick tick ticks Murmured thoughts seep through "Maybe it was worth the struggle at least then I still had you." Then I recall times I needed him most how my hand reached into nothing his presence was illusion, his soul like a ghost

Should we take everyone's guns? Should we give everyone guns? Can't we just arrest the guns for killing people? Wait no, guns don't kill people, people kill people. THE QUESTION NO ONE IS ASKING... Why are these kids going crazy killing people in the first place?  We had automatic rifles in the 60's no one did this, and the 80's no one did this...why today? ANTIDEPRESSANT MEDICATIONS.  Every school shooting, to my knowledge, was committed by a young person on antidepressants which clearly say cause homicidial and suicidal behaviors in youths. One simple pin prick to test their blood for the gene which processess these drugs could put an end to these tragedies and many others which don't make the news.