How To Give Charity Wrapped in Dignity

I ended my previous blog, "Why Our Programs Will Never Stop Homelessnes," on this note,

"To fix homelessness, they don't need us. We need to need them."

As a follow up to this, here is a story about giving charity wrapped in dignity...

One day my mother asked me to run a quick errand for her.

"Will you please go knock on Ms. Trudy's door and ask if she can spare a tablespoon of salt for the bread I am baking?" My mother asked.

Ms. Trudy lived next door with her two young children.

"Why Mother? We have salt. You don't need Ms. Trudy to give you salt," I replied.

"Because, since Ms. Trudy was laid off from her job, she is having a hard time making ends meet. Lately, she has needed to ask us for help and I can tell she feels ashamed." My mother explained.

"What does that have to do with borrowing salt from her?" I questioned.

"Because dear, this way she feels like she has something to give back. Consider it a tablespoon of dignity." My mother answered me, before nudging me out the door.

-end story-

I have helped many people, experiencing homelessness. I have offered a place to stay for a short while, food, first aid care, etc.

They all do one thing in common... offer something in return. No person likes to receive pity or a handout- despite how society characterizes them. 

Often, the only thing they have to give in return is their labor or something they found somewhere else (i.e. found in a dumpster, or stolen / traded property).

The labor I accepted, the rest I politely declined.

This is the currency of their community. They barter, sell, trade and deal-- always paying for their own way amongst each other.

They have something of value to offer within their own communities. The last thing they want to admit is that they need help with a place to sleep or food. If they do receive help, they still want to pay somehow. To be of value.

Many, are highly skilled craftsmen, artists, musicians or otherwise non-traditionally skilled (meaning they won't fit in well in a 9-5 office setting).

We reject their attempts to pay their way with what they have, or with the skills they possess because their offerings, their value, don't fit into our traditional way of conducting business.

 Instead its easier to hand them a dollar and fund programs to "help them off the streets" than it is to lower our judgment and see the value of the human being which we've labeled homeless.

This charity and pity and well meaning "help" breeds shame, and division and a sense of worthlessness, hopelessness. 

Eventually contempt arises for a society that no longer accepts them and for which they can contribute nothing to-- or rather could, if only we would accept it. 

We strip that person's value with every charitable donation. Unless we can give charity wrapped in dignity, we will only further compound the problem of homelessness in America.

I would like to introduce the radical notion, that to solve homelessness in America, we have to help those experiencing it rediscover their value and find ways to meaningfully contribute to society again.  To feel useful and needed, or accepted by the tribe is a fundamental requirement to being a part of it.

If they can't make that happen within our society, they will form their own, and they have. Honestly, good for them, but shame on us.