simple truths

A little caper, tip-toeing through my head, peaking in doors unseen and unannounced Leaving footprints in the carpet just deep enough to be noticed She tries to leave a trail of misgivings and clues to my next downfall But she forgets she does not know the house she has trespassed Instead she follows her own blueprints, believing they must be the same Her tiny, unwanted gifts fall on deafened ears and get swept away I am wise now to my meddlers ways, no longer shaped and startled by her attacks Subtle is how she believes herself to be, stealthy and sly as she vandilizes my mind But the spotlight has been glowing for some time, and she is the one who cannot see My gates are closed, my guards on task, no longer an ignorant fool with doors unlocked She still creeps in the shadows, as I sit and laugh watching her peek around the corner She can't see me, but now I see her; just a child with a game that can't be won

A smile creeps onto my lips, I sit a bit straighter and feel those tinglys down my neck. What is this? It feels good, and I don't know if I've felt it before. I'm proud of myself! I have actually ACCOMPLISHED something worthwhile. Something that I can smile about and show the rest of world, and feel PROUD about it! It may not be much to some, but it's everything to me. What's sad is that I don't think I've ever felt this before, not for a personal accomplishment anyway. Of course I have felt pride for my childen, but they are not a goal set and achieved, it's not the same. I was homeless, jobless, without more than a suitcase to my name. I was depressed and hopeless, grieving for the loss of things that felt too great to imagine. I was looking day to day toward just surviving; food, clothes, shelter....sanity- that's important too. This was less than 6 months ago! Ok, so I didn't win a Pultizer Prize today, or become rich overnight, but I H...

To be touched. To feel the weight of another's body leaning into yours. To feel the heat of someone's bare skin connecting to yours like a magnet..this is a need, not just a desire.  What happens if an infant does not receive enough physical contact? Severe psychological damage can occur. Skin to skin contact has proven benefits for babies. Why do we think this changes as we grow? We all crave that contact. Other cultures allow for hugging and kissing as a part of their public culture. It isn't uncommon to hold hands with a friend elsewhere, but here in America, every bit of physical contact has been sexualized. After our childhood years of parental affection, we are then isolated. An island unto ourselves. We are required to find a "partner" to get what we need and desire after this point. What a disaster this has become. It used to be that we didn't mess around with this important event. If you found a partner you stuck with that person, until death do you p...

For every action there is an equal or opposite reaction. Yin and Yang. Balance. When we hear "Nothing in life comes for free." We may think that means not to trust someone giving things away-they'll always want something in return. Or that if you get something for free, then someone else has paid the price for it, or that you'll always pay a consequence in the end for having things easy... But, maybe that isn't what it means. Maybe it's on a larger, more general scale in life. That when we receive from the universe, an equal amount of energy is expected from us. God helps those who help themselves... If we examine each time something good has come into our lives, it came with an equal amount of new worries and troubles. We overcome these, we are making payment for receiving. But through payment we don't lose, we don't give away anything. We grow, and become capable of more. Life is abundant, we are all capable of having all the good things we desire an...

How do I just move about my daily business? How can so many stick their head in the sand and just Take It!? We have become so focused on our personal woes and tribulations, our daily survival and life long pursuits, we can't bear to take on anyone else's burden or cause, nonetheless step back and think about our global community. Everyone is dying to make some kind of change in this insanity!!!  At this time in our human history, we have grown past needing direct supervision and guidance. We do not need a father or chief to control and contain us. Our minds have been freed, even as we sit imprisoned by mindless drone work. We, no longer, must fear mother nature as a calculating threat to our kind. Lighting does not strike out of anger and droughts are not punishment for our deeds. We do not need these explanations any longer. With a better understanding of the earth, and a more humble view of our part in it, we can live amongst each other, as free people. We are all capabl...

It is not easy to say goodbye. There is so much I want to hold onto. Friendships, termed loosely for the warm feeling I hope to receive, but truly decorative shells for a convenient acquaintance. Relationships, with so much potential for fireworks and lasting love, but in the simplest terms, a dud. Family, a safety net- a lighthouse to be counted on, but really a group of lost souls trying to claim boundary. Yes, I looked down this road to where it bent into the undergrowth- and I took it. But perhaps he was right, old Frost,  I may have taken the other one, just as fair. I believe I will. We all cry out for safety, warmth and familiarity- making decisions with the least possibility for damage to our fragile egos. What if?, this... What if?, that... Well? What IF? Do you know? Would it kill you to find out? Or would it kill everyone else to see you try? Decisions must be made on individual terms, not dismissing the effect it will have on others… Ultimately, one must decide f...

A sneaking cold tingle, tapping into my skin like needles That shiver of denial, and that ache of knowing A bitter gag of familiar pain contorts my gut Quiet reflection and voluminous reprisal An inner swell that forces the truth and washes the lies The scene lies bare and open for change A simple, clear certainty descends No more answers needed No more questions worth my breath and curiosity Coals of rage, betrayal, disgust and self loathing Let out a steep sigh of release Feeling the cool weight of valediction long overdue I am myself, all that remains All there ever was All I need to be.