simple truths

The Pitiful Prostitution of the Single Mother LeAnne Love (c) 2015 This month was a close call. I paid rent twenty days late, receiving my second 72 hour notice.. I could have had my rent paid a week ago, when a long time woman friend of mine offered to ask her boyfriend about loaning me the money. Driving along, while  I listen  over my speakerphone, she lays out her proposition, "I think that if you me and Dave have a threesome, then I'll ask him to loan you the money, and he won't say no." I'm slack jawed. My driving companion seems less surprised and shrugs as if to say 'Well it's money.'  Just two weeks ago, a male friend of mine had texted me a picture. A crisp $100, laying on his bed. How nice, I guess he was short on the landscaping work I'd asked about, a year ago. I declined  both these offers, nevertheless, I am wondering now, if I were on TANF (welfare cash assistance), would I have to report such earnings? Is there a box for that

The Things we fuck up, and why do we do them? Out of what Great Fear do we set ourselves out for ruin? What began as self-undoing became complete destruction. Hell bent to destroy our deliberate constructions. Does the grief wrought to ourselves stand as a measure to our worthiness? Or stand countenance to the sturdiness of the common bonds we all seek? Why do we tear away at the things we hate? Wouldn't it be far saner to relate to all those fears bore down by others, as reflective to our inner state? The Love we feel is missing, is only the love we refuse to make. And before we beg a spirit 'Listen!' One must truly know what they're about to say.

MANDATUM MUTATIS MUTANDIS "We Command, Change as Needs to be Changed." ...a call to action.         In the twilight of this disillusionment, as we grasp for what may be left to salvage of the American dream, we find ourselves reaching out to our neighbors once more and though we still possess skilled hands and motivated spirits; hard times have fallen on the American people.  Isn't our workforce larger than ever? Hasn't our ability to cull our natural resources and refine them improved? Shouldn't this nation of hardworking, well-educated people be at her peak? With our children's peak  still yet to come? We hear the news and then overhear it again, through our social circles, telling us the reason for our economic downturn, low employment rates, homelessness, people going hungry right here on our American streets . We hear that it has something to do with a bubble, in the market, popping and costs rising, due to inflation...but, let me be the one, to pop

I had reached a point at the end of my rope, where I welcomed death, silence, oblivion. At this point of defeat, I realized, that should I die today, then what I 'would have' done didn't matter. It didn't matter if I failed, or if I saved the world. If the me I had known did not matter anymore, than what harm would it bring to go all out! Splash the world with all the great, and the menial, all the colorful ideas and ambitions, all the ridiculous and humorous insights- who the hell cares!  If I had died it would all be a loss anyhow. So, why not make life my game? Rearrange the board, skip spaces and recolor the squares. Far better than throwing the whole box in the trash. Death did come- to my ego, to my pride, to my 'show face' and 'proper place.' Dead. It's all meaningless. Now I choose to Love and Give-to give away and let go, holding tight, only, to what I find passion for.

THIS MOTHERFUCKING DEMON THAT'S SCREAMING IN MY HEAD MAKIN' ME WANT TO THROW UP AT THE THOUGHT OF GETTING OUT OF MY GOD DAMNED BED. CRIPPLED AND CRUSHED UNDER THIS FEATHER LIGHT QUILT OF DISGUST, CONTEMPT & CORRUPT BEARING DOWN WITH INDECISION THIS INNER NUCLEAR COLLISION THE FISSION OF WHICH MAKES FOR A BITTER DISTASTE FOR LIFE THROWN IN MY FACE, MY FATE THESE LIES.

I remember my Grandmama, explaining to my 7 year old self,       "Every seven years your body changes." As an adult, this has proved to be true. Even science backs up Grandmama on this one, nearly every cell in our body including the ones which make up our bones are in fact replaced over time (although its a lot more complex than that...). Think back to seven years old. Parents- think of your child at 7 years old!! The age of reason, and I will add the age of individual opinion, lol. Fast forward to fourteen years! Ok, enough said on that age....now 21..... These are defining years for most people, when not just our physical body changes, but our persona and status too. Interestingly, seven years comes up as the final number of many cycles. Debts are cancelled after 7 years. Bad luck from broken mirrors thankfully disappear. The famous "seven year itch," in marriages. I have noticed in my personal life, many events, people and places have come back

Walking Along Walking along the edge. Gazing at possibilities. Slowly taking these steps, I sway to find my footing. Indefinite, but with stride, and seeking affirmation, I am altogether captured by the reverent form unfolding. Resisting an impressive urge, to plunge into what feels true, I have fallen before, and as they say, That, is not what kills. So, here I remain. Myself. Steady and balanced on this ledge. On the horizon, moments envisaged,  waiting to become… When the timing is right, with respect to that uncertain state, disquietude shall cease, and a new harmony will compose… Where- I can jump, or rather fall, and immerse absolutely, in amity and contentment. Fulfillment of our course. What an extraordinary endeavor we have set out to travel. The words which brim upon my lips, simply do not avail, or impart to you, what I believe, this journey may reveal. For now… These words will hold their place and we will walk on still. -Rochell