Writer's Block

It would be fitting that I began blogging, years ago, with a post about "Writing." I guess when all else fails, write about writing itself, or about becoming a writer. It's not that I've had nothing to write about, good god there's volumes to cover for the past few months of my adventure called life. The same block I have for writing is what I have in my life now though.

Partly, this is a new beginning. New friends, new home, new work- pretty much starting from scratch. I think anyone would feel a bit stumped. The other side to this is less natural to me. Fear. I am Rochelle! Tenacious, unstoppable! So- Me, afraid? Well, yes! F#%_ing terrified actually. New work? New Home? Friends? It's all unsettling. So what does this have to do with writing?

My fear in writing- or at least, what stops me from doing it- is the same fear I feel in life. Fear of Failure. Once you've been scorched by failure, and have that acid taste left in your mouth, you never want to feel that burn again. It hurts. But I am reminded of a poster, hanging in the shop I used to work at...it states "To succeed, you must double your failure rate."

That's all cute on paper, but as I sit here, facing my failures, that statement is not entirely motivating. I am not looking forward to defeat at any level- not even sure I can take it, afraid I can't take it. I am sure every writer faces this, when beginning a new novel. Is all that time and creative energy invested, going to amount to any success? Is it likely their novel will go in the scrap-heap like the thousands of novelists' who came before? Yes, it's more than likely. But, just as life is a process to find our place or purpose, it may take the process of writing, and scrapping, a dozen novels before a writer finds his niche. For now, I keep on writing, and yeah, living.