Sunday, October 5, 2014

Could you be a rapist?

Well it all depends on how you define Rape.

Here is a simple definition I think we can all agree upon: She says 'no', and you do it anyway.

However in our minds, to qualify as "really" being raped, it must also include some violent struggle, where she screams "No," and he pins her down and has his way with her. This "rapist" also must be someone she doesn't know and of course never slept with.

Let me say that unlike stealing a car,  where the driver can't cry theft if they had ever given the thief permission to drive it  prior, the "right" to have sex with a female does not carry forward from one act to the next. The woman has the right to change her mind and decide she does not want any further contact.
That's right guys, just because you fucked her once doesn't mean you can hit it anytime you please. If she says no, it means stay off! Even if:
  • You're in the middle it,
  • you're still together,
  • she's unconscious,
  • a heavy sleeper,
  • or wore her skirt too short that day...

Furthermore: Just because...

She didn't scream rape and put up a fight (especially if she's unconscious or asleep),
Because You didn't come in her,


 *"just the tip,' or "only for a second" are absolutely included.

I am going to repeat: It is not necessary for there to be an unknown assailant in a black mask beating up a crying female as he forcibly penetrates her...

You could be her husband, her boyfriend, her best friend or an acquaintance. You could be in her bed with permission too, but if she has declared her unwillingness to enter into coitus with you, then there is ZERO justification for crossing that boundary.

Most women out there, in the dating field, know the all but awkward moment when her friend, her date or someone else, is pushing a little too far, she has said 'no,' or 'stop.' She has pushed away, yet he continues, and she must make a split second decision:
"Do I scream rape and put up a struggle and call the cops, or do I go with it."
In that split second, what crosses her mind is all that society tells about women who get raped and the questions she will endure , such as:

"Why did you invite him in?" , "Did he beat you up?", "Weren't you seeing him?", "You're just being emotional," "Were you drinking?", "Maybe you sent him the wrong signals",  "She was asking for it, look at how she dresses," and my favorite "Oh, I know so&so, there's no way he would do that." 

Somehow the very simple, and intuitively correct, definition of 'rape' gets convoluted and perverted into a Hollywood screen play. If you don't act the part of the battered tormented victim, or if he doesn't act the part of the scary, violent rapist, then your scene gets tossed in the clips bin where all sorts of everyday mishaps belong.

 Let's change the camera angle. 
Does it matter that our bodies, are the ONLY thing we will ever have true control over? Ever. On this whole earth. We ARE our bodies, so when you violate the private sanctuary, the inner solitude of self, you damage the whole being. You are stripping away all possible security, safety, shelter, personal power, value and worthiness of another human being- so you can get your fucking rocks off?
My insightful teen-aged nephew, Theodore Barnhart, mentioned that there are pamphlets, books and even self-defense classes that teach girls how not to get raped, but nowhere do you see a class or pamphlet that teaches boys NOT to rape!

Monday, June 9, 2014

Every 7 years

I remember my Grandmama, explaining to my 7 year old self,

      "Every seven years your body changes."

As an adult, this has proved to be true. Even science backs up Grandmama on this one, nearly every cell in our body including the ones which make up our bones are in fact replaced over time (although its a lot more complex than that...).

Think back to seven years old. Parents- think of your child at 7 years old!! The age of reason, and I will add the age of individual opinion, lol. Fast forward to fourteen years! Ok, enough said on that 21..... These are defining years for most people, when not just our physical body changes, but our persona and status too.

Interestingly, seven years comes up as the final number of many cycles. Debts are cancelled after 7 years. Bad luck from broken mirrors thankfully disappear. The famous "seven year itch," in marriages. I have noticed in my personal life, many events, people and places have come back to me full circle from 7 years ago. 

So it seems, every seven years is a time for renewal, and cancelling debts. Of letting go of old cycles, habits, people and even places. Like the week, which restarts every seven days, every seven years is the time to purge what you've been hanging on to and start a new journey.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Walking Along

Walking Along

Walking along the edge.
Gazing at possibilities.
Slowly taking these steps,
I sway to find my footing.

Indefinite, but with stride,
and seeking affirmation,
I am altogether captured
by the reverent form unfolding.

Resisting an impressive urge,
to plunge into what feels true,
I have fallen before, and as they say,
That, is not what kills.

So, here I remain. Myself.
Steady and balanced on this ledge.
On the horizon, moments envisaged,
 waiting to become…

When the timing is right,
with respect to that uncertain state,
disquietude shall cease, and
a new harmony will compose…

Where- I can jump, or rather fall,
and immerse absolutely,
in amity and contentment.
Fulfillment of our course.

What an extraordinary endeavor
we have set out to travel.
The words which brim upon my lips,
simply do not avail,

or impart to you, what I believe,
this journey may reveal. For now…
These words will hold their place
and we will walk on still.

-Rochelle Willis ©2012

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Play on Words

I play with my words like you play with gum, pulling each vowel through my lips,
feeling the crack of a consonant on my tongue, and biting down to hold each in their proper place.

I play with words like babies play with bubbles, creating them to shine then pop with possibilities,
my wand is my pen, dipped deep into the frothy brine, to conjure up form from subconscious mystery.

Where grammar gives way to art. punctuated. by the rhythms and the

_silence between the notes.

Where language dances with intimate perception, staring back at the reader, the writer,
casting shadows of depth no picture could perceive, it's thousand words so intricately weaved.

These words are toys, not like blocks stacked in math, but like play-doh and finger paint,
the impressions made of the author in press are the dips in the clay and the prints in the paint.

Where best of all I am never alone, my reader must play

_and so far, we get along.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Devouring the Thick

       "The world is waiting," she told me. "You're a trailblazer. You don't walk the path, or find the path, you bludgeon through the thick and create it. God has obliged you. He keeps creating the thick for you to devour!"

Occasionally, I am reminded of my significance and capabilities. It has been nearly one year since my "awakening," when all the pieces came together and my perspective on life got turned on its ass. And if you can imagine your brain getting emptied out and rearranged without you participation- it leaves one a bit disoriented on their path in life.

All of the humbling, heartbreaking, shocking experiences over the last two years have left me peaceful. Not numb, or angry...As I swallow one painfully toxic dose of life after another I am gradually removed from the necessity to suffer from loss and failure.

Kahlil Gibran said, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain... Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears."

...while the pain still exists- I need not be contorted or crushed by it, but rather transformed through it. A tremendous amount of energy, from many places and people, were put into those things which caused me pain- and through learning a bit of life Judo, it seems appropriate to deflect all that input into some extraordinary output.

The world is waiting-

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Too late

Too late

Horrific things happen in the smoothest of ways- creeping in unannounced and spreading before it can be caught, like the blood seeping from an open wound, it pours it's dark and permanent stain beyond the grasp of our control- There is no break from reality to experience these things--they are part of our normal life as much as the water we drink; alarms will sound, no rush of empathy and support will crowd to ease the blow, you just take it! Only in the aftermath do we feel the hot tears well up, feel the guilt, loss, pain and shock...too late for apologies and too soon for forgiveness

The Idea Factory

Just to the North of where I live, lies an abundant land, where truly all things are possible, and there is an answer for every question. I call this place, "The Idea Factory," you may have something similar North of where you live, called an imagination.

Some people there wander off into a warm sea, golden beach, paradise. Others live out lives of fame and fortune in this place. I, create solutions. Sometimes to a problem you didn't even know was a problem yet....

Replacing the age old Clothes Hanger system with a rotating, self-folding wheel- keeping clothes wrinkle free and eliminating the need for drawers as well!

              *Yes, I am aware this idea will never catch on and may be slightly retarded.

BUT! Could someone, somewhere make a buck selling that, sure! People buy rocks, as pets, so why the hell not....

There are many solutions, to problems big and small, which I have concocted;

EXAMPLE II: (better idea)
Instead of eliminating the penny, get rid of the nickel instead. Lucky pennies, penny jars, penny loafers, pennies from Heaven etc, etc. We like our pennies, no matter how worthless. Now, beside from the "Nickel Ads," no one cares about the nickel- probably costs more to make one anyway, AND we can still make change (5 pennies = 1 nickel).

Good idea, Right?
I bet you've had a couple million dollar ideas yourself, haven't you?

Here's the simple truth: You, nor I, will ever do anything with these ideas.



Your ideas, in the hands of the whole world, to bring to life, build upon or change another person's idea of what is possible... At least something gets done- maybe a lot of great somethings get done!