Here is a simple definition I think we can all agree upon: She says 'no', and you do it anyway.
However in our minds, to qualify as "really" being raped, it must also include some violent struggle, where she screams "No," and he pins her down and has his way with her. This "rapist" also must be someone she doesn't know and of course never slept with.
Let me say that unlike stealing a car, where the driver can't cry theft if they had ever given the thief permission to drive it prior, the "right" to have sex with a female does not carry forward from one act to the next. The woman has the right to change her mind and decide she does not want any further contact.
That's right guys, just because you fucked her once doesn't mean you can hit it anytime you please. If she says no, it means stay off! Even if:
- You're in the middle it,
- you're still together,
- she's unconscious,
- a heavy sleeper,
- or wore her skirt too short that day...
Furthermore: Just because...
She didn't scream rape and put up a fight (especially if she's unconscious or asleep),
Because You didn't come in her,
IT'S STILL RAPE IF YOU ENTER HER ____ AT ALL AFTER SHE HAS EXPRESSLY DECLARED SHE IS NOT WILLING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
*"just the tip,' or "only for a second" are absolutely included.
I am going to repeat: It is not necessary for there to be an unknown assailant in a black mask beating up a crying female as he forcibly penetrates her...
You could be her husband, her boyfriend, her best friend or an acquaintance. You could be in her bed with permission too, but if she has declared her unwillingness to enter into coitus with you, then there is ZERO justification for crossing that boundary.
Most women out there, in the dating field, know the all but awkward moment when her friend, her date or someone else, is pushing a little too far, she has said 'no,' or 'stop.' She has pushed away, yet he continues, and she must make a split second decision:
"Do I scream rape and put up a struggle and call the cops, or do I go with it."In that split second, what crosses her mind is all that society tells about women who get raped and the questions she will endure , such as:
"Why did you invite him in?" , "Did he beat you up?", "Weren't you seeing him?", "You're just being emotional," "Were you drinking?", "Maybe you sent him the wrong signals", "She was asking for it, look at how she dresses," and my favorite "Oh, I know so&so, there's no way he would do that."
Somehow the very simple, and intuitively correct, definition of 'rape' gets convoluted and perverted into a Hollywood screen play. If you don't act the part of the battered tormented victim, or if he doesn't act the part of the scary, violent rapist, then your scene gets tossed in the clips bin where all sorts of everyday mishaps belong.
Let's change the camera angle.
Does it matter that our bodies, are the ONLY thing we will ever have true control over? Ever. On this whole earth. We ARE our bodies, so when you violate the private sanctuary, the inner solitude of self, you damage the whole being. You are stripping away all possible security, safety, shelter, personal power, value and worthiness of another human being- so you can get your fucking rocks off?
My insightful teen-aged nephew, Theodore Barnhart, mentioned that there are pamphlets, books and even self-defense classes that teach girls how not to get raped, but nowhere do you see a class or pamphlet that teaches boys NOT to rape!